I’m a highly organized person. I mean extremely, meticulously, insanely organized. Most of the time it’s a great quality… I know where my keys are (I probably know where your keys are!), my school assignments are completed and handed in early and the grocery list is never more than a couple of items long. Sometimes though – my almost desperate need to stay “on top of things” makes me paranoid that something has been forgotten or left behind. That is the feeling that has come over me now that I am less than 4 months from my wedding day. I feel like the aisle is stretching out in front of me and I'm standing there in my underwear!
I find myself running down the list of wedding to-dos wondering what I’ve forgotten. Venue: booked. Guest list: done. Dress: bought. Ceremony: written. Flowers: ordered. Rings: almost done. Invitations: ready. WHAT HAVE I FORGOTTEN? All this nervous energy (and all the coffee I’m consuming) is making me feel pretty frazzled!
How can a bride-to-be find some peace of mind?
First, I must get it out of my head and onto paper. Therapists recommend this tactic for anyone facing what might appear to be an insurmountable task. Write it out… I’ll list the issues causing me any amount of stress. Then – I can look back at them as individual pieces of the bigger picture and tackle them one at a time. This isn’t just a wedding survival skill - it works for anything from spring-cleaning to creating a healthier lifestyle. When you break down a task you’ll suddenly realize that all you need to do today is wash the windows or drink more water; not clean the entire house or "be healthy” – whatever that means!
Second, I need to find some distraction. Something to take my mind off the wedding plans but that will also be helpful to the ultimate goal of a happy, healthful, married me. I need something relaxing that requires some mental concentration to give me a break from all this thinking thinking thinking I’ve been doing! For me I believe yoga will be the answer. I’ll start a renewed commitment to my yoga practice this week and should find myself more relaxed, centered and grounded within a few days. I’ve also been struggling with an injury over the last month that has derailed my weight loss goals – the yoga should get me back on track. If you find yourself overwhelmed by life, use a healthy activity to take your mind somewhere else. Walk, run, swim, play tennis or go golfing - it doesn't matter what the activity is - only that it gives you some peace of mind and that you do it.
Last, I need to ask for more support. One of the hardest things to learn, and then to remember, is that our friends and family want to support us. Too often I think we choose to take more and more on our own shoulders until we buckle under the weight. It feels really good when we can help people close to us - remember that and reach out to those around you when you find yourself in need of a boost, big or small. It will make you both feel great! I will involve my fiancée more in the wedding plans and delegate responsibilities to him now that we are getting closer to the day. I’ll call on our parents to help with the organizing and planning. I’ll turn to my bridesmaids for some support and lots of comic relief – we ARE planning a party after all!
With the planning I’ve already done I could ignore everything in my big wedding binder for the next 4 months and the whole thing would still come off without a hitch. At this point I have a dress to wear, a venue to stand in next to my man and some pretty moving words to be spoken to celebrate our love. I must remember that this is a celebration – not a show, or a spectacle. I’ll try to keep things simple and remember that the impetus for everything that happens on our wedding day is the love my fiancée and I have for each other. Phew – I feel better. This is going to be an awesome day!
My lesson to myself and every bride to be this month is to breath. Take it in stride and try (TRY) to relax.